Friends how many of us have them

It's been a while since my last post and this one is gonna be rather lengthy.   

I recently ended a friendship with someone I've known more than half my life and it sucks cause I thought we were friends. 

It all started on my daughters bday. She called and asked me the party plans and then immediately asked how me and my boyfriend were doing. I told her we're great, better than we have been in a long time. She then proceeds to tell me she has something to tell me and if it were her boyfriend she would wanna know. I'm thinking what do you have on my boyfriend. We live together and we're Velcro with the exception of work we're joint at the hip pretty much. 

She proceeds to tell me that when I'm not around he acts like he's single. That he's telling people we aren't together and that we just raise our daughter together. She said he tried to exchange numbers with another girl. She won't give me the details like who gave her this information or who the girl was. So what am I supposed to do with this "hey babe you acting single when I'm not around" and he says no and that's the end of it.  So I asked her where did she get this info and she again refused to tell me.  My thing is this how are you gonna give me half the story and expect me to react and why won't you give up your source if I'm your friend? She then proceeds to tell me the source could be Jesus himself and I would still believe him over her. So now she's not giving me the source and she's expecting me to just take her word for it. Her credible source might not be a credible source to me. 

Well I thought long and hard about it. Has to be someone he works with. And I was right. The "source" started making subliminal Facebook and Instagram post the next day. It was a girl who went to high school with us. This same girl hit on him last summer and he told her he had a girlfriend and a new baby.  Now had my friend gave me the name of the source we coulda moved past it. So I ask her a few days later. Is it..... And she says no it was someone else. At this point you're a liar so we can't be friends anymore. Also you're lying and covering for someone we have sat up and talked and gossiped about. Now makes me wonder what kinda gossip you was doing about me when she was telling you my man cheats cause she sure ate that information up and loves it.  

Long story short the source was confronted about spreading a lie by him and by me. If I didn't believe him before I really believed him when I heard him tell her to get a life and stay off his dick and stop tryna ruin his homelife and fuck up his family. I felt like if he was hiding something he wouldn't had wanted to confront her. I then told her what my "friend" said about how she looked like she bought her dress from a pea in a pod maternity. Guess she didn't like that cause she went back to my "friend" and I got a very nasty text message. Now if we were indeed friends she woulda gave me all the info so I could handle it. Her source only wanted to remain a secret because she was lying. Her source told her she wanted to avoid drama at work but that was also a lie. If you don't want drama you don't post shit about me on Facebook and Instagram but maybe my friend was an idiot. If she was my friend when she saw those post she woulda came to my defense not lie and say "I didn't see it I don't follow her" especially when I saw you comment on her pictures. 

Do you know this bitch "the source" tried to tell me she was only trying to help by posting subliminal post and pics and calling me ugly. Swear I'm so confused by this. So yes I told her what was said about her wedding gown and her weight. Who cares. They won't be gossiping about me anymore. 

Upon further investigation from a 3rd party,he wasn't cheating which I knew. But according to the source first he said I was single then he said I was fat so he was exploring other options and wanted to spend his birthday with the other girl. So again I'm confused. Am I fat and he is looking for something else or are we just not together? Also his birthday is our anniversary, but I'm sure she didn't know that. How would he spend that away from me? I swear folks can't even lie right.  As for my weight my body is better now than it was pre pregnancy and we have an amazing sex life so obviously he loves it. 

This is why you can't trust people. No my relationship is far from perfect but I get to live with someone who bends over backwards to take care of me and will do anything to see me smile. There's a lot of love and fun in my house. Also at the time this "supposedly" happened we were sharing a car cause mine was broke down. On top of that he asked me to help with a project he was working on so we could spend more time together.  That bullshit story made absolutely no sense at all but I'm gonna let them be great. 

Misery loves company so I hope those miserable bitches are happy cause they can't have my company I'm booked right now. 

Rest in peace DW

I can't believe it's been a whole year since my mother went home to glory. I miss her some days and it's a lot of days I pick up the phone so we can gossip about celebrity scandal or I need to hear her tell me what I'm doing wrong with my kids. I swear some days I can hear her criticizing my parenting so I know she's here. 

I don't really grieve for her much and I was actually relieved when she passed away. I watched her suffer for so many days and because of cancer she died a horrible death. 

Some days I get sad because she died 3 weeks before Tiana was born and never got to meet her. I kinda felt like she held on as long as she did those last days tryna see my baby. I realize that even if she was here there's a chance she wouldn't realize what was going on or that I had even had a baby.  

There are a lot of days I want to be angry with her because she created this mess between me and my siblings and didn't bother to try to fix it, but it is what it is. 

She and I did not have the best relationship. For years I felt like she hated me and maybe she did. Just when things were getting better and we were finally getting the relationship I always wanted to have with my mother, cancer took her from me. I can't get mad about her being gone because I realize that's selfish. I have to remember to be happy for her because she's not in any pain, she's not suffering and most importantly she's reunited with her husband, my father. 

Rest in peace DW you are missed 

Dropping The Ball

Last nights rhoa was off the chains. The gays on twitter was already mad at Nene from last week, but now they are all on #teamtwirl. Never thought I would see the day. 

Last night I was highly disturbed by Kandi's weave. I don't know why I ignored it, maybe cause it's ugly. Maybe because Andy Cohen read her my tweet that said "can you tell Kandi 1997 called and Janet Jackson wants her velvet rope weave back" yeah I shouldn't had tweeted it, but Andy ain't have to read it to her on air. 

Anyway why is it sewn in a circular pattern. It's 2013 tho we don't do that.

Mama Joyce is a goon ain't she??? Wasn't long ago she quoted the late, great poet Tupac and told Todd "I ain't no killer but don't push me" however she lied she is a killer. I'm convinced she had Gerald Levert and AJ knocked off. Todd needs to run fore he come up in a body bag. Todd and Carmon looked real chummy last night. Maybe there is some truth to these rumors.  Mama Joyce sounded like Madea on that voicemail. 

Porsha is a pretty girl and that is all. I ain't like her singing. Some people did. I didn't particularly enjoy it. 

Kenya and Marlo. I love it. It's messy. I love it!!! 

Cynthia can't hold water. She always seems to run her mouth except when she should be speaking up. 

Phaedra had almost no camera time last night. Is it because of Apollo's legal drama? 

Now on to the main event.  Kenya set Nene up. She set her up good. Sure she sent her an e-vite and sure Nene opened it. Now Kenya shoulda personally called or text her if she wanted her there. Nene said "you can't play a bitch like me" but oh Nene not only did she play, you she played you good. You made an ass outta yourself. Now if Nene had been gracious with the speech it woulda made Kenya look good. The way Nene handled it made Kenya look even better lol.  I lived when Nene made an ass out of herself. It was amazing cause somebody took her down! Cause according to her she's the star of the show and the rest of them are not on her level. 

I wonder how the rest of the ladies feel hearing her say this.  The real tea is last weeks episode that she said was edited wrong was edited in her favor. Supposedly she went on a tirade yelling and screaming that she was the star of the show and didn't feel like she should have to wait for Kenya to arrive. 

Nene is an old monkey in a bad wig and her teeth are too big. She need to saddown cause Kenya played her good last night. I loved it 

Each day is valentines day

I actually had a small debate with another woman on a post about valentines day. We don't make a big deal out of it. I told him I'm not one to care about it for real and he said cool. 

Seriously do we have to make a big deal outta love because hallmark told us to do so??? Not my style. I know women who base their whole relationship off of what they did or didn't get for valentines day. Rationing sex out if they were unhappy with their gifts. 

This girl said my relationship must not be real because if I have a lover why wouldn't I want to celebrate a day for lovers. 

My relationship is very real and we are very much in love. He's been my lover, my best friend, my partner in war, the keeper of my secrets and he is the father of our "love child" I died twice when he referred to her as our love child the first time. 

Valentines day is everyday over here. At night when I lay on his chest and he puts his arm around me I'm the luckiest girl in the world cause he chose me. Our relationship is not perfect at all. He squeezes my toothpaste in the middle, bought 1ply toilet paper cause it was on sale and just this past Friday we had the most epic fight that ended with me in tears and him attempting to hug me. Oh it's hilarious now in hind sight but I was so angry that night lol. We love hard and we fight hard, then we love some more. 

Those putting such emphasis on one day might not have anyone to share it with next year. If you need one day to know how much your SOS cares about you it's not gonna last. 

My advice to all the single people is this. Valentines day is a commercial holiday made up by hallmark. Don't feel bad about being alone. It's people in committed relationships who don't acknowledge it and the people making a huge deal out of it this year will be alone next year if they don't like what they get tomorrow. 

If it's that big of a deal to you then do something nice for yourself.  As for us I got him a card and I told him a card, a candy bar and a kiss would make me a happy girl. 

Catfish!!!!

We're supposed to write about our worst date today. I can't recall mine but I can tell you about when I was catfished and it was way before Nev and Max lol. 

The year was 2009. I was newly divorced and didn't have much experience in the dating world. I dated my exhusband when I was 17 so all this was a new world to me. 

Internet dating. I'm sure we've all done it before, but now thanks the Nev and Max I'm sure we don't trust it anymore. 

Anyway I engaged in a Facebook flirtation with a well known local rapper here in my city. He was cool as hell conversation was nice and so I wanted to meet him. Problem was that he had moved to Jacksonville Florida with his mom. He did say he comes back here from time to time so it wasn't an issue. We made plans for him to come up and visit me one weekend. He said he was gonna drive and it would take him like 12 hours. I call periodically and check on him. Last we talked he was in bowling green Kentucky. He calls back and said his mama burned down his kitchen and he had to turn around and drive back. 

Ok his mom is elderly so maybe it did happen. 

The next time he's gonna drive up to see me, but he gotta stop in for business in Atlanta. Supposedly he's working on a deal to do a song for EA sports. Great make your money playa. I don't hear from him the rest of the weekend. He got locked up in Atlanta for smoking a blunt in the car. So he's had some bad luck. 

He supposedly got locked up in Atlanta twice more so next time I suggest since you can always make it to Atlanta let's just meet there and hang out. 

I rented a car and head out. He said he was getting an oil change and was heading out also. I'm calling and calling no answer and I'm halfway there. As I pull  into Georgia he calls back. 

Apparently his car stopped on him at the Florida/Georgia border a few hours ago and he's getting it towed home. Playa you couldn't had told me that BEFORE I got on the road. 

Now I'm suspicious everytime we supposed to hang out he flakes. Something always happens. Now we had separate rooms in seperate hotels in Georgia so I coulda still went, but this is before I had friends there. Now I have so many friends there I sneak into town cause I can't see everybody. 

Anyway I demand he give me his address and book me a room in his city. I'm halfway there anyway. I plug his address in my gps and head out. I get to his place and now I see why he didn't want to meet me. 

He is using pictures on his Facebook that he took from 2005. It's 2009. He's like 600lbs heavier. He looks like an overweight Gary Coleman and not the sex symbol that's in the pictures he rotates on his profile. 

Atleast I got to go to the beach lol. 

After I quit talking to him he actually moved back to Louisville where everyone said they couldn't believe he gotten that big. He now uses current photos on his Facebook. 

I'll give you a hint who he is. He wrote the song Louisville's football team used when Petrino was the coach. There ya have it folks. The original catfish. I won't ever again agree to a date with someone I met on Facebook regardless of how many mutual friends we have!!!!! 

My BFF

About 10 months ago I gave birth to this incredible person who is now my BFF. We do everything together. She makes me share all my food with her, we dress alike every chance we get and I feel comfortable telling her all my secrets cause she can't talk yet.  She's always really happy to see me and I know cause she claps and says yay when I walk into the room. 

I look forward to the years to come and all the things we are gonna get to share together. 

I love you Tiana Justice-Nicole Crenshaw 

Love and Hip Hop

Love and HipHop

Here are a few of my thoughts from last nights episode

Where the hell did they dig up Mo'Nique??? All that weight she lost and she still shaped like a sweet potato. They needed Wendy Williams. Wendy woulda got all the tea. 

Amina. I loved the song but you're right boo you do look dumb. I was gonna give you kudos for deciding to move on with your life until you pulled a used pregnancy test out of your bra. 

Who in the hell carries something they pissed on in their bra??? That's nasty. You know dirty feet Pete ain't shit. You shoulda been on birth control. 

Tara you feel sorry for her but secretly you're smiling inside cause it looks like things are over between them and you gon get Peter back home. Peter is NEVER gon marry you boo. In the end Amina really did one up you.  Face it you wasted your life away on someone who will never make you a wife. Move on already. 

Peter why you crying? How you gon remove yourself from Tara's life and y'all have kids together. Steebie never woulda sat up there and cried. Steebie a real pimp. He woulda made Tara and Amina his life partners. These chicks woulda been down for that. 

Erica Jean I told you not to move in with Saigon crazy ass. You shoulda filed a restraining order when he threw your purse. Whatever he did to you after that point I gotta assume you liked it cause you signed up for more. 

How is Rasheeda gonna tell Tahiry about self esteem and she got on a sherbet colored wig??? Who in the hell is gonna marry her? I just pray she gets a new wig for her wedding. One that is a color that occurs in nature 

  

Mena and Rich.....the saga continues. I can't wait to watch that play out next season. Cyn should walk away before she gets hurt even further. 

Yandy I hope you trim the ends of your weave. 

Ok those are my thoughts. I wish I blogged this from the beginning lol 

Life After Baby

We put Tiana out of our bed finally and she cannot come back!!! I don't care how much she cries she ain't coming back. 

After you have a baby your sex life changes so much. It's hard to feel sexy with lactating boobs and extra jiggly puff. We're all grown here right? I can say that. 

I miss the days when it wasn't quick hurry up let's get it in before the baby wakes up. 

We finally got her out of the bed and it's glorious. No more trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night. No more 3am quickie sessions. 

It's only been 2 nights but dammit she can't come back. 

It's night 3 he's laying to my left, snoring and she's in her bed which is on my right trying to get my attention so I will pick her up and put her in my bed. 

I'm about to roll over, lay under my man and go to sleep. I suggest she suck her binky and do the same thing.  She ain't getting in my bed and I mean that lol 

This is me

I started this blog then scraped it. It went to deep and I'm not sure I want y'all to know me like that. 

Today's topic how people see me versus who I really am. 

I'm not really sure how people see me, but I know who I am and I'm learning to be comfortable with who I am so it doesn't even matter. 

In high school there was a girl with a similar name who did a bunch of stuff and I caught all her rumors. I supposedly was a slut. Funny thing is the only person from central I've ever been intimate with is the guy who shares my bed every night. See that's why I can't bother with what other people think.  What I can do is share some little known things about me. 

I got tired of people calling me "tie" so I changed the spelling of my nickname to Tee about 10yrs ago. Also because my favorite soul singer is Teena Marie. I whole heartedly believe for any situation there's a Teena song. 

I named my daughter after me. We're like the mom and daughter on half and half. Big Tee and Tee Tee

I've been engaged twice. Both times soon as I started wedding plans and bought a dress I got pregnant. I'm currently ok with not being married cause I'm scared I'll get pregnant again. 

I'm super girly!!! I love makeup and clothes, but I don't do jewelry. I can't keep up with earrings to save my life. 

I can cook my ass off. I bake too. Ira said the girls he work with can tell when we're into it cause he doesn't bring his lunch from home when I'm mad. And it's true lol 

My oldest son, my first love is autistic. He has the high functioning form and he's smarter than most adults I know. 

I'm shallow. I prayed for pretty babies with all 3 pregnancies. I wasn't specific enough cause Donovan tho he was very beautiful, probably the most beautiful of my 3 (he looks just like me) he had 12 fingers and 11 toes smh. Yeah so when I prayed for Tiana I was real specific. I said she could look like her daddy as long as she has my eyes. She looks like her dad and has my eyes. 

My mother hated me most of my life and she verbally and emotionally abused me, but in her dying days we made peace and I was there for her. I still feel insecure at times, but I'm working through it. I do plan to get counseling because I don't want to repeat those mistakes with my little girls. 

I'm currently estranged from my siblings and I'm thankful my baby has never met either of those assholes. I've forgiven them for everything they have done but I have no plans to ever let them back in my life. They have taken advantage of me repeatedly and I'm not in a hurry to do that again. 

I've known my boyfriend since I was 14. He's my best friend in the whole world. He gets on my last damn nerve every single day and we bicker nonstop but he's mine and I love him and I seriously feel lost when he's not around. I thank God everyday for sending me someone to walk with me. 

That sums it up. I'm happy as long as I can love on my family. I'm actually pretty boring 

Thankful

I love my little boys more than I love life itself. They are my life and I would kill a brick for them. As much as I love them, I always wanted a little girl to love. 

When Ira and I got together he had 2 kids also he had a 15yr old son and an 11yr old daughter that he had physical custody of. 

When we first met she was a little unsure of me and very over protective of her daddy but eventually we did bond and we love each other madly. I will kill a brick over my HoneyBun too. 

When we started discussing getting married, we agreed we weren't gonna have kids of our own because we already had 4 and that was way more than enough. I was winning anyway. I absolutely love his kids even though I will kill the boy if he makes me a granny before my time. Cause let's be honest I'm entirely to fly to be a grandmother right now. 

I was most excited about the opportunity to be HoneyBuns mom.  Her mom wasn't really in her life that much and a girl needs a mom.  She needed a mom and I needed a little girl to love so it was perfect right? 

God had other plans. I swear this is the second time I get engaged and start looking at wedding gowns and I get knocked up!!! 

He's the one who told me I was pregnant. This nut was actually tracking my period and knew my cycle better than I do. 

From the moment I found out I was pregnant I knew my baby was a girl.  I had all these plans for us. She is named after me and we dress alike every opportunity we get. I talk to her about everything even though she can't talk back. She's my baby BFF!!! 

I didn't have the best relationship with my mother growing up. From the time I was 12 I felt like she hated me. My mom often told me I was ugly and I was stupid. I believed her until I was 25. A lot of the stupid things I did in life was because of extreme low self esteem. 

My goal is to be the very best mom I can be to our 5 kids and to never let them feel like no one loves them. Especially Tiana and HoneyBun (that's not her real name, but it's what I call her). I'm so thankful God gave me the opportunity to be a mom

Deal Breakers

I'm supposed to be writing about deal breakers in relationships, but see the way my current relationship is set up........

I've broken so many of my own rules being with this man. 

I've always said you gotta be 6'0 to ride this ride. Well he's 5'11 but I guess it makes no difference since I'm barely 5'3 but not quite lol 

I usually don't date men with multiple baby mamas. I don't bring any drama in that area so I don't want to deal with drama in that area. Since my divorce every man I've dated, except 1 had no kids at all.  Ira came with 2 kids, who I absolutely love. 2 babymamas tho. 3 if you count me and my daughter now. 

Last but not least I said I wouldn't date another Pisces. I'm a Virgo and that combination is like oil and water. Pisces men are the devil. Beyoncé said it so it's bible. Check out "Signs" if you don't believe me lol 

Yeah my deal breakers are pretty petty so I'm gonna spare the details of how I let it slide that he squeezes my toothpaste in the middle and bought toilet paper that was only 1ply. 

My last relationship before him taught me a lot about what should and what shouldn't be deal breakers. I've decided as long as a man ain't married you can let certain shit slide. 

Yes I dated a married man. It's not something I'm proud of but I can't change it. 

He introduced me to his parents, most of his family and his friends as his girlfriend. I wasn't hidden nor a secret. Shortly after we were seriously dating he revealed to me he was married but separated. I learned the very hard way that being separated is still married. Matter of fact once he puts a ring on his finger anything other than divorced is married.  We live in a time where it's acceptable to date and sleep with married men. Reality tv glorifies it even. What is so great about borrowing someone else's husband???  His wife eventually found out about me and wanted her marriage back. She did exactly what most women do in the situation cause she's stupid. She confronted me! I was all set to fight for what was mine, but for one small thing. He wasn't mine. Since he's married he was not free to date me or be mine so I did the right thing. I cut his ass loose!!

That situation taught me my list of qualifications always get me absolutely nowhere cause he fit all the criteria on my list. I decided I was gonna stop being so picky. 

I've known Ira since high school. He was a senior when I was a freshman and I had the biggest crush on him. Then one day when I was 17 he was driving in my neighborhood and he followed me home. We actually dated for like 2 months before he went into the army. This last time we reconnected I actually almost stuck him in the friendzone because he had a ringback tone on his phone and I thought that was lame. I'm so glad I didn't. 

Letting go of my list has allowed me to build something real and experience a deeper bond than I've ever had with anyone in my life. Women are always complaining there are no good men left but there are plenty. Look in your friendzone. If he has good hygiene, a job and isn't married there is potential there lol